Rising Through Resilience: Five Things You Can Do To Become More Resilient
December 02, 2020
Antonia recently shared that moving towards a positive action-orientation can be accelerated by surrounding yourself with people who exhibit these traits. If you want to be resilient, surround yourself with people who are also resilient.
When building resiliency, Antonia shares her CARVE principle:
Coach: If you routinely find that you are struggling to move through challenges or find yourself in negative self-talk, I would recommend finding someone you admire for their resiliency and spending time with them. How did they become resilient? What do they do that helps them build confidence? How do they stay positive and move forward? Often sharing experiences and talking with someone about these skills can help them become a bigger part of your own personal arsenal. I also think moving towards a positive action-orientation can be accelerated by surrounding yourself with people who exhibit these traits. If you want to be resilient, surround yourself with people who are also resilient.
Activity: Pick an activity where you know you will struggle, and then commit to that effort. This might be a new sport, a new language, or a new craft. I like this approach because you are working on your resiliency in a safe environment, but the skills can apply across your entire life. Set a goal, and then put a plan in place to work towards that goal. When you experience a set-back, practice the positive mindset, action plan, act with speed and confidence, and keep going! When I was learning to deadlift, I was the absolute worst in the gym. I couldn’t lift even the lightest weight off the floor. I couldn’t make my body adapt to the movement. My form was terrible. I was so frustrated with myself. So I watched videos, practiced in front of the mirror over and over, sought out others to watch and correct my form, and I never gave up. In the end, I was able to conquer the skill — but the road wasn’t easy, and I drew on my resiliency to get me through.
Resources: Having a resource pool is an important feature of resiliency. We all need to build up our resources, skills, and network of people who can help us solve problems, provide support, or guidance. Resilient people know when and how to apply skills or reach through to others who can be useful and meaningful in challenging circumstances. Actively cultivating this environment for yourself will help accelerate your success!
Visualize: I really love the concepts used in sports psychology for building resilience. Athletes face setbacks all the time, and often they have to respond immediately, so this is a great area to study that model. One technique I really like is to visualize yourself being resilient. Pick a challenging real-world scenario and sit quietly and step yourself through every step you would take to overcome the challenge. How would you act? What tools would you use? When you accomplish your goal at the end of the visualization, how would you feel? Secondly, I would recommend that you reflect on scenarios from the past where you may not have acted decisively, where you felt paralyzed, unsure, or maybe you chose to do nothing, and the outcome was not positive. Spend some time thinking about how someone you perceive as resilient would have handled the same scenarios. What would you do today? Often building resilience is about focusing on self-awareness, expanding your problem-solving skills, and building confidence to act.
Engagement: When you experience a set-back in your life, and you feel a sense of fear or paralysis, I recommend practicing three immediate steps. First, you should stay engaged, so the moment to act doesn’t pass. Then quickly: 1.) Find something positive in your mind that relates to this set-back. What have you done before that you could draw on? What skill could you apply? The goal is to build your confidence and find some positivity to bring focus. 2.) Make an immediate mental plan that is tactical — what can you do right now to start moving in a different direction? I find some action, big or small, unsticks a scenario before it becomes overwhelming in your mind. Do something! 3.) Think about one or two things you will do in the near term to solve, improve, or change the situation, and make a deadline to act. This ensures that you will keep moving forward. Building resilience is also about perseverance! Sometimes, it’s just about working a plan one-step at a time. You don’t have to solve it all, but resilient people keep moving!
To view the full interview with Antonia featured on Thrive Global, please click here.